So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
