i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
