I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
