i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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