doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
