does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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