Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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