Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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