you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
