i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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