I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
