by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
