Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
