can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
