They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
not ubering you a puppy
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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