we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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