I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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