I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
