I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
