All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
