There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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