the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
