I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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