If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
