i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
