Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
