Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
