Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
