Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
