If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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