Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
