BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
