im drinking this country out of the recession.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
