she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
