Your dad touched me again.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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