I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
