yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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