Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Two words: blizzard sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
