Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
