Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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