I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
