Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
