That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
