so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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