doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
