Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
