But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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