I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the day after is always just damage control
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
