Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
