that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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