She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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