Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
